Long Day - Hug needed

So I guess I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Weird expression - since I wake up in the middle of my bed every morning. But I didn't want to get out of bed, and now rightfully so.

My car repairs, which I was so proud of myself for taking my car into the shop, are going to cost me way more than expected. Sigh.

My brother and I haven't had time to get our mother the hanukkah gift she wanted. It's no big - there are 8 days, and she called me today to tell me she went today to look for ours and couldn't find it either, but yea, what a family haha.

The people in my office, ok not the people, but the administrative assistant staff are treating me like I am an assistant and I am not. I have no problem aiding them when I have little to do like recently, but now it's getting to the point where they just drop mail on my desk and expect me to walk around delivering it. I don't want to create an issue and be like no, this is her job and make the REAL assistant do it, but I don't want my true position undermined - especially because I am in an office with one due to limited space. Plus well, I have some tasks that are just plan stressful and uncomfortable.

I had bad dreams all last night about J disappearing - weird.. but wake up this morning to him telling me he probably can't make it this weekend. Lovely. Not that I don't think he isn't doing his best or trying damn hard. Oh I do. I know he is. He's amazing and is probably going to do everything he can to get here even if it doesn't work out. But it's still sad. And I can't afford to jump in the car to see him. It's been 3 weeks now. Im looking at a month before seeing him. Well I mean itll be a month since we've seen each other. I don't have to wait another month.

LDRs are fucking hard. And we've been bickering a little because its been a while since we've seen each other I think. He's been checking up on me today, I guess cause he knows IM having a rough day, which is sweet cause he wasn't feeling well yesterday. It's not that I don't call him to check up on him, he just doesn't like it when I do that. lol. He likes his space when he's sick. And yea, he knows I know he's trying. Hopefully his brother will help out (long story, has to do with cars, kids and well, I don't even know, but well see later - I still have a chance of seeing my yogi).


So I've been in a down mood all day. I could use a hug.