So yea, I know it's been forever since I've posted anything. I do have things to post: Like my uber-awesome visit to J last weekend, the mass of amount of oysters we ate, his crazy fun lovin puppy who makes my poor Nemo want to cry out in frustration. I just haven't had time or energy. Lame excuse, I know, because how long does it really take to write a quick, "I'm Still Here!" but yea, there ya go. Here it is, I'm Still Here!
I haven't abandoned yet, I just haven't written. I have a draft of a post regarding a theoretical situation that I need to finish and put up; I have so many pictures I want to put up (sorry guys, I'm not in any of them... maybe one day I'll put my picture up, but I am to scared of work checking this out since I REALLY prefer to keep my professional ad personal life completely separate.
Yea, I have co-workers I enjoy being around and even one that used to drive me up a wall (no no, clucker/popper still does... we'll call this one Mr. Always Right) has turned into someone I can laugh with and I've learned to just shake my head at his nonsense. We actually wound up having a few things sorta in common (beside both being stubborn and proud asses) so yea, worked out. I actually frequent his office now and then just to chat. Different world huh.
And I have lot's of bitching to do, sure to entertain and make eyes roll.
So be patient, I am here. I'll try and get on to post tonight. I can't find my usb cord for my camera so I am hoping my Mom's ELPH cord works with my Nikon Coolpix (w00t) and I can get awsome pictures and vids of frolicking dobies and scared border collies, and oysters popping on a homemade keg grill.
I also haven't posted the pictures of me making ravioli! I have to do that too. Sigh - time to pull out a google calender and get on top of this shit huh?
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Superman Wear Tim Tebow Pajamas
wwwwwww000000000ttttttttt.
yea. extra big tonight. tim tebow won the heisman 15 minutes ago. im lame and have access to my comp so im throwing it on here. but WOOOOO FECKING HOOOO!!!!!!
gonna go enjoy me some jack daniels now and celebrate.
(saw this picture on another blogsite. adammafield.blogspot.com, I don't want to take credit for this image.)
yea. extra big tonight. tim tebow won the heisman 15 minutes ago. im lame and have access to my comp so im throwing it on here. but WOOOOO FECKING HOOOO!!!!!!
gonna go enjoy me some jack daniels now and celebrate.
(saw this picture on another blogsite. adammafield.blogspot.com, I don't want to take credit for this image.)
Friday, December 7, 2007
Some Random Posting
I LOVE Demetri Martin so here are just some fun things to read and look at:
"Glitter is the Herpes of Craft-Supplies"
"Glitter is the Herpes of Craft-Supplies"
A Knife, A Guard, A total FFIIBBB
UUUGGGHHH. J loves to tell stories. Normally I like them. I mean, It's cute - we'll even be on the phone and I'll tell him to tell me a story. But then there are times where, well, I think he's serious.
Like two nights ago, when he told me he was building a rocket out of car parts. I believed it. Why not. He works with cars all the time. He knows his stuff. The ATV we ride? He redid the engine himself. Sure its a bit slow (sorry baby, although I guess I'm safe, he hates the internet, although he knows I blog) although he does want to amp it up a bit. Anyway, yea I thought he built a rocket, or started to. So when I couldn't reach him for about 15-20 hours, yea I thought he blew himself up.
So today when I call to say good-morning and I'm told one of the inmates he works with tries to escape I start getting nervous. Long story but let's say he works with a program that allows men to learn a trade if they are on good behavior or something I guess. These apparently aren't dangerous guys or anything. So he tells me. I dunno, the idea of my man and a screwdriver potentially being held to his neck doesn't thrill me but he assures me the guys like him and everything is under control. I've met the head guard and hes a big guy and shit so I dunno.
Anyway, I am told that the inmate tries to run, holds a knife up to J's neck and the reason J is still with me is because a guard took him out from behind a bush! And he wasn't phased, just all, hey man good shot kinda shit. I'm in my car, late to work, FREAKING OUT. Of course I believe it. Im paranoid as it is with this job. I'm constantly asking him to switch jobs and move down here to be closer with me and to NOT be working on this site.
Turns out he was fecking with me the whole time. The inmate got confused about what site they were working that day. Wandered over to the wrong site, and well J had to drive around for a while looking for him (Im sure other people did too) with the mind-frame that he was trying to run when the poor guy was just lost and probably confused and a bit freaked knowing he was gonna get it when he got back.
So I am gonna go listen to xmas music, get organized and eye down potential new employees over here. I have a lot to do. Just don't know WHAT. So I know once I get myself organized I can get something done. Oh and I am gonna continue freaking out over the high risk situation my asshole boyfriend puts himself in everyday.
Like two nights ago, when he told me he was building a rocket out of car parts. I believed it. Why not. He works with cars all the time. He knows his stuff. The ATV we ride? He redid the engine himself. Sure its a bit slow (sorry baby, although I guess I'm safe, he hates the internet, although he knows I blog) although he does want to amp it up a bit. Anyway, yea I thought he built a rocket, or started to. So when I couldn't reach him for about 15-20 hours, yea I thought he blew himself up.
So today when I call to say good-morning and I'm told one of the inmates he works with tries to escape I start getting nervous. Long story but let's say he works with a program that allows men to learn a trade if they are on good behavior or something I guess. These apparently aren't dangerous guys or anything. So he tells me. I dunno, the idea of my man and a screwdriver potentially being held to his neck doesn't thrill me but he assures me the guys like him and everything is under control. I've met the head guard and hes a big guy and shit so I dunno.
Anyway, I am told that the inmate tries to run, holds a knife up to J's neck and the reason J is still with me is because a guard took him out from behind a bush! And he wasn't phased, just all, hey man good shot kinda shit. I'm in my car, late to work, FREAKING OUT. Of course I believe it. Im paranoid as it is with this job. I'm constantly asking him to switch jobs and move down here to be closer with me and to NOT be working on this site.
Turns out he was fecking with me the whole time. The inmate got confused about what site they were working that day. Wandered over to the wrong site, and well J had to drive around for a while looking for him (Im sure other people did too) with the mind-frame that he was trying to run when the poor guy was just lost and probably confused and a bit freaked knowing he was gonna get it when he got back.
So I am gonna go listen to xmas music, get organized and eye down potential new employees over here. I have a lot to do. Just don't know WHAT. So I know once I get myself organized I can get something done. Oh and I am gonna continue freaking out over the high risk situation my asshole boyfriend puts himself in everyday.
Congrats Tebow!
Tim Tebow has already won the Maxwell and Davey O'Brien awards. Onward to NY - Good luck buddy!!!!
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/wire?section=ncf&id=3145039
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/wire?section=ncf&id=3145039
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Homeless, Target and Getting Home Late, a Bad Mood can Make
Well, OK not a bad mood, and I did something theraputic to make myself feel a lot better. But well, we'll get to that in a minute.
I do feel bad. Again. In a minute.
First, I am apartment hunting and I can't afford anything more than a cardboard box. Shit - I can't even afford a cardboard box with a view. When I say cardboard box, I'm kinda being literal. Bums have more of a budget than I do. I make nothing. I mean, I have a job, a salary - I SORT OF have benefits, not good ones, and I haven't opted for them yet, but I have the option - but it isn't a lot to live off of.
I'm doing a pretty decent job saving. I mean really decent job saving. Im saving more than what I will wind up using as living expenses -I hope. People who have the honor of actually knowing my finances have told me they are amazed at what I am able to put aside (I'm living for free right now sooo), so yea, on one hand, I have lee-way. But the truth is, sometimes I need to tap into the savings to get through till the next paycheck. I try not to, but there are those times. And then, who wants to LITERALLY live paycheck to paycheck. I want to continue to save when I move out. What happens when my dog needs to get a shot, or I wanna buy a present for someone - or I need a new shirt.. whatever the expense is. I don't want to live on what I live on every two weeks. It's fine for average living expenses, but well, it's not really the best idea. So I need to find something affordable. They say not to spend more than 1/3 on your rent. HAHAHAHAHA. I won't say where I live but its a popular metropolitan area. It's also an area that is being hit with the realty crash pretty heavy, so rent prices are soaring. sigh. My cap is $XXX, has to be dog friendly for a 50lb dog (I can get away with 40lb i think), safe neighborhood (there aren't too many in my price range) and well, chances are, im not gonna get anything much bigger than 440-550 square feet. I wasn't lying when I said a cardboard box.
The thing is, if I were able to find an apartment for 450 sq feet, xxx or less, that allowed my dog, in the general area that is safe for me to walk my nemo alone at night... well, id move in January, no questions asked, no complaints about anything. I dont care too much about anything aside from those specifications. I showed a friend a few options, she was a bit shocked at the quality of apartments I am looking at but that's life where I live. It's really all location location location. I'll tell you, to find a one bedroom instead of a studio too? OH man, I'd wet myself.
I even just had my mom's friend tell me there was a place, 15 blocks north of where I wanted (general area, good stuff), 50 more than I wanted to pay for rent BUT IT INCLUDES EVERYTHING. I mean seriously. I could keep saving.. I could live happily. Man. Frustrating. There just is NOTHING. OUT.THERE. My cousin wants me to live with the one lady who apparently is rarely at her place, and I'd have my own entrance, good price, but yea, Im skeptical about living with strangers. Especially when they aren't my age. And the few potential roommates that I DO KNOW, well I keep hearing from family that its a bad idea. And I think they would know. Cause it's their friends kids lol. UGH. I hate apartment hunting. Im gonna look at craigs list after I finish this.
NEXT. Target DOESNT HAVE HANUKKAH STUFF. I mean HOW horrible is that. Don't get me wrong. I AM OBSESSSSSED with Christmas. I love it. I have a tree at work, Im begging J to get his tree before I drive up next weekend so I can help trim it, and I am in charge of decorating my office. BUT that also means get Hanukkah stuff for the office because a lot of us are Jewish (I am more Jewish in the sense of culture and heritage, not religious... anyone who knows me knows this). BUT I am still insulted that there were 6 Isles for Xmas and not one isle for hanukkah. I mean they had one of those side pannels that they use to display a special. but not even half an aisle. It really upset me. Not because of religious but it's just rude. Especially for those out there that DO celebrate the holiday and it just showed me how close minded corporations are and how they will completely dismiss a holiday. And really - America is either the first or second (I don't know if its us or Israel) largest Jewish population, and when there is a christian holiday competing, the Jewish one is completely side-winded. I will be writing to Target. It may not do anything, but I'll feel like I did my part. Maybe they sold out, cause hanukkah started a few nights ago. But I mean, keep stocked, gimme candles, gelt, dreidls I dunno. Good thing I love christmas. On the other hand, maybe I just needed something to be mad about today. I was tired and running around all day at that point and was just over it all.
Sadly I was cranky with J. And I miss him so well, I kinda took that out on him sorta. It's been a month. And even longer since we well, use your imagination. Last time I saw him I got the flu, time before that it was my "Lunar" time.
He hung up, I guess because I was uptight and he was trying to do other stuff while we were talking, said he would call me back later - yea, hasn't happened. Woops. I feel kinda bad. But gotta give him his space. It's probably what he's doing for me. He'll call when he wants. Just wish that was.... rightnow. OK Funny enough, the reason this wasn't posted last night was as I hit the period. My phone rang. I was able to apologize. Nice. What a lucky girl I am.
But did my own therapy last night. Aside from writing in the blog. Which has become a therapy in it's own. I made a couple of pasta doughs. Two actually. I'll try and post that picture later today. But it's fun and it takes muscle to make so you really get a lot of aggression out. I actually suggest making pasta for anyone that hasn't tried it before. I will post directions later along with a picture.
I do feel bad. Again. In a minute.
First, I am apartment hunting and I can't afford anything more than a cardboard box. Shit - I can't even afford a cardboard box with a view. When I say cardboard box, I'm kinda being literal. Bums have more of a budget than I do. I make nothing. I mean, I have a job, a salary - I SORT OF have benefits, not good ones, and I haven't opted for them yet, but I have the option - but it isn't a lot to live off of.
I'm doing a pretty decent job saving. I mean really decent job saving. Im saving more than what I will wind up using as living expenses -I hope. People who have the honor of actually knowing my finances have told me they are amazed at what I am able to put aside (I'm living for free right now sooo), so yea, on one hand, I have lee-way. But the truth is, sometimes I need to tap into the savings to get through till the next paycheck. I try not to, but there are those times. And then, who wants to LITERALLY live paycheck to paycheck. I want to continue to save when I move out. What happens when my dog needs to get a shot, or I wanna buy a present for someone - or I need a new shirt.. whatever the expense is. I don't want to live on what I live on every two weeks. It's fine for average living expenses, but well, it's not really the best idea. So I need to find something affordable. They say not to spend more than 1/3 on your rent. HAHAHAHAHA. I won't say where I live but its a popular metropolitan area. It's also an area that is being hit with the realty crash pretty heavy, so rent prices are soaring. sigh. My cap is $XXX, has to be dog friendly for a 50lb dog (I can get away with 40lb i think), safe neighborhood (there aren't too many in my price range) and well, chances are, im not gonna get anything much bigger than 440-550 square feet. I wasn't lying when I said a cardboard box.
The thing is, if I were able to find an apartment for 450 sq feet, xxx or less, that allowed my dog, in the general area that is safe for me to walk my nemo alone at night... well, id move in January, no questions asked, no complaints about anything. I dont care too much about anything aside from those specifications. I showed a friend a few options, she was a bit shocked at the quality of apartments I am looking at but that's life where I live. It's really all location location location. I'll tell you, to find a one bedroom instead of a studio too? OH man, I'd wet myself.
I even just had my mom's friend tell me there was a place, 15 blocks north of where I wanted (general area, good stuff), 50 more than I wanted to pay for rent BUT IT INCLUDES EVERYTHING. I mean seriously. I could keep saving.. I could live happily. Man. Frustrating. There just is NOTHING. OUT.THERE. My cousin wants me to live with the one lady who apparently is rarely at her place, and I'd have my own entrance, good price, but yea, Im skeptical about living with strangers. Especially when they aren't my age. And the few potential roommates that I DO KNOW, well I keep hearing from family that its a bad idea. And I think they would know. Cause it's their friends kids lol. UGH. I hate apartment hunting. Im gonna look at craigs list after I finish this.
NEXT. Target DOESNT HAVE HANUKKAH STUFF. I mean HOW horrible is that. Don't get me wrong. I AM OBSESSSSSED with Christmas. I love it. I have a tree at work, Im begging J to get his tree before I drive up next weekend so I can help trim it, and I am in charge of decorating my office. BUT that also means get Hanukkah stuff for the office because a lot of us are Jewish (I am more Jewish in the sense of culture and heritage, not religious... anyone who knows me knows this). BUT I am still insulted that there were 6 Isles for Xmas and not one isle for hanukkah. I mean they had one of those side pannels that they use to display a special. but not even half an aisle. It really upset me. Not because of religious but it's just rude. Especially for those out there that DO celebrate the holiday and it just showed me how close minded corporations are and how they will completely dismiss a holiday. And really - America is either the first or second (I don't know if its us or Israel) largest Jewish population, and when there is a christian holiday competing, the Jewish one is completely side-winded. I will be writing to Target. It may not do anything, but I'll feel like I did my part. Maybe they sold out, cause hanukkah started a few nights ago. But I mean, keep stocked, gimme candles, gelt, dreidls I dunno. Good thing I love christmas. On the other hand, maybe I just needed something to be mad about today. I was tired and running around all day at that point and was just over it all.
Sadly I was cranky with J. And I miss him so well, I kinda took that out on him sorta. It's been a month. And even longer since we well, use your imagination. Last time I saw him I got the flu, time before that it was my "Lunar" time.
He hung up, I guess because I was uptight and he was trying to do other stuff while we were talking, said he would call me back later - yea, hasn't happened. Woops. I feel kinda bad. But gotta give him his space. It's probably what he's doing for me. He'll call when he wants. Just wish that was.... rightnow. OK Funny enough, the reason this wasn't posted last night was as I hit the period. My phone rang. I was able to apologize. Nice. What a lucky girl I am.
But did my own therapy last night. Aside from writing in the blog. Which has become a therapy in it's own. I made a couple of pasta doughs. Two actually. I'll try and post that picture later today. But it's fun and it takes muscle to make so you really get a lot of aggression out. I actually suggest making pasta for anyone that hasn't tried it before. I will post directions later along with a picture.
Models aren't the only people who pose - But Tim Tebow Respects the Heisman
Ok, I'll probably rant and rave a little in this one. I'll probably also go off on different topics and this is going to be a COMPLETELY biased post. Sorry guys. This is also gonna take forever to write. Im gonna get work done in between, and I'm gonna try and look up stats while doing that. Who even knows when I will even post. Ill probably even try and post bits and pieces as I go so if this seems unfinished and I post in parts. Sorry.
Saturday is the announcement of the Heisman winner. OH.MY.GOD. Can I tell you how intensely freaked I am? I mean, this is all we as Gators have this season. I mean, big freaking deal, the Capital-One bowl. woo-hoo. This doesn't even deserve a w00t. But for a fecking Sophomore to have the chance to break yet another record this season, to make HISTORY YET AGAIN, to take the HEISMAN without even be a Champion contender, without even making it to a conference title game. I mean really. Timmy Tebow is the fecking MAN people. The front runner and favorite for the trophy.
I see people with Gator paraphernalia on and I do the pose. They do it back at me. Tim is too good to do this. He won't. Other runners for the Trophy will. Proud feckers. Tim respects the award, lets his fans be proud OF him, but he isn't pretentious.
Now this prestigious moment comes at a wonderful time. The Gator's entered this season with high-hopes, but realistic views. A virgin defense was taking the field. We lost NINE starters this year - do you understand how rough that is? Defense wins games guys. Offense may put points on the board, but without Defense you are screwed. I had a feeling it would be a 9-3 season from the beginning so I am not totally heart-broken to see the final stats. This season was one rebuilding - and one of watching what Tim Tebow would do at the head of the team. And BOY did he impress. 29 passing touchdowns and 22 rushing. He passed for over 3,000 yards and rushed for over 300 (I dont have numbers in front of me) and hes just a quarterback. If you watch, you should see some of the crazy plays he puts up. And it isn't even the stats, its the heart he plays with.
Now, I guess here is the biased side. Sort of. The Gator's faced the toughest schedule out of ALL of the contenders AND those with schedules that were near comparable to ours aren't front runners for the award. With a schedule ranking of 8, the rest of the contenders fall far short of what Tim Tebow has to face week in and week out, not to mention the fact that he played through injuries, continuing to put the stats on the board and win games whereas the excuse for other players is "they would be there if it weren't for injuries." Not to mention Tebow didn't even have to PLAY last week to remain in the number one spot.
I know I didn't put a lot of numbers up. It isn't that I don't really know them. I can look them up, I can shove them in your faces and compare them. I know that McFad ran for over 4,000. But then again he also plays for a 8-4 team that remains unranked. I mean, what do we REALLY look at this season. Teams that SHOULDNT have been number one and two were. No offense Kansas and Mizzou but you had a schedule that was incomparable to that of UF or USC or (I can't believe I am saying this) LSU, and yet you had your shot. A team like Illinois will be playing in the Rose Bowl when their season was NOTHING compared to ours and are ranked below us. I dunno. Im disgruntled. Yea. I know. Your teams wouldn't have been there if it weren't for a year of upsets. You got lucky - and someone even told me once that luck had a LOT to do with football. No. Luck has a lot to do with card games and gambling, even if you know your statistics. Football takes practice, skill, good coaches and passionate players. Luck only comes in every now and then - we have our good days and bad days but in the end it all comes down to talent, passion and dedication - not luck. This season was screwy.
But that's what makes Tebows accomplishments so important, so amazing, and so well deserved. He played above and beyond any other player out there - and he won games without a defense. I know, none of this makes sense, and I am rambling and I should have taken the time to really write this. I should have looked up stats and compared and ya know, maybe I will later. I probably will later to redeem myself and write an accurate and well written post. This is all biased and subjective and opinionated. And ill be doing something I never THOUGHT I would do - Ill be rooting for LSU, cause the feck if i root for THE ohio state.
Go Tebow.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Long Day - Hug needed
So I guess I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Weird expression - since I wake up in the middle of my bed every morning. But I didn't want to get out of bed, and now rightfully so.
My car repairs, which I was so proud of myself for taking my car into the shop, are going to cost me way more than expected. Sigh.
My brother and I haven't had time to get our mother the hanukkah gift she wanted. It's no big - there are 8 days, and she called me today to tell me she went today to look for ours and couldn't find it either, but yea, what a family haha.
The people in my office, ok not the people, but the administrative assistant staff are treating me like I am an assistant and I am not. I have no problem aiding them when I have little to do like recently, but now it's getting to the point where they just drop mail on my desk and expect me to walk around delivering it. I don't want to create an issue and be like no, this is her job and make the REAL assistant do it, but I don't want my true position undermined - especially because I am in an office with one due to limited space. Plus well, I have some tasks that are just plan stressful and uncomfortable.
I had bad dreams all last night about J disappearing - weird.. but wake up this morning to him telling me he probably can't make it this weekend. Lovely. Not that I don't think he isn't doing his best or trying damn hard. Oh I do. I know he is. He's amazing and is probably going to do everything he can to get here even if it doesn't work out. But it's still sad. And I can't afford to jump in the car to see him. It's been 3 weeks now. Im looking at a month before seeing him. Well I mean itll be a month since we've seen each other. I don't have to wait another month.
LDRs are fucking hard. And we've been bickering a little because its been a while since we've seen each other I think. He's been checking up on me today, I guess cause he knows IM having a rough day, which is sweet cause he wasn't feeling well yesterday. It's not that I don't call him to check up on him, he just doesn't like it when I do that. lol. He likes his space when he's sick. And yea, he knows I know he's trying. Hopefully his brother will help out (long story, has to do with cars, kids and well, I don't even know, but well see later - I still have a chance of seeing my yogi).
So I've been in a down mood all day. I could use a hug.
My car repairs, which I was so proud of myself for taking my car into the shop, are going to cost me way more than expected. Sigh.
My brother and I haven't had time to get our mother the hanukkah gift she wanted. It's no big - there are 8 days, and she called me today to tell me she went today to look for ours and couldn't find it either, but yea, what a family haha.
The people in my office, ok not the people, but the administrative assistant staff are treating me like I am an assistant and I am not. I have no problem aiding them when I have little to do like recently, but now it's getting to the point where they just drop mail on my desk and expect me to walk around delivering it. I don't want to create an issue and be like no, this is her job and make the REAL assistant do it, but I don't want my true position undermined - especially because I am in an office with one due to limited space. Plus well, I have some tasks that are just plan stressful and uncomfortable.
I had bad dreams all last night about J disappearing - weird.. but wake up this morning to him telling me he probably can't make it this weekend. Lovely. Not that I don't think he isn't doing his best or trying damn hard. Oh I do. I know he is. He's amazing and is probably going to do everything he can to get here even if it doesn't work out. But it's still sad. And I can't afford to jump in the car to see him. It's been 3 weeks now. Im looking at a month before seeing him. Well I mean itll be a month since we've seen each other. I don't have to wait another month.
LDRs are fucking hard. And we've been bickering a little because its been a while since we've seen each other I think. He's been checking up on me today, I guess cause he knows IM having a rough day, which is sweet cause he wasn't feeling well yesterday. It's not that I don't call him to check up on him, he just doesn't like it when I do that. lol. He likes his space when he's sick. And yea, he knows I know he's trying. Hopefully his brother will help out (long story, has to do with cars, kids and well, I don't even know, but well see later - I still have a chance of seeing my yogi).
So I've been in a down mood all day. I could use a hug.
No Motivation and Bad Kisses
Ugh, I just have had no motivation? Is it because I don't feel like I have enough to do? Is it because I feel like, well I don't know. I need something to revitalize me.
I've been having bad dreams lately. Im not gonna go into them. I just have. I don't feel rested. I haven't seen J in a few weeks and that may be bringing me down. But at the same time I am a lot stronger than I used to be and being on my own doesn't bother me the way it used to.
Anyway. I was listening to my favorite station this morning (talk radio, I don't particularly like it as far as music goes, but the morning show rocks), and they were talking about bad kissing. OH MAN. Yea. I was thinking about it. I think we have all had our fair share. It was funny, someone was talking about how she called a guy the lizard and this guy I kind of dated was kinda like that, but instead of in and out like a lizard it was more like the "no no no" finger.
Take your finger and swish it back and forth as if you were wiggling it "no" at a child. Now do it as fast as you can. Now multiply that by two. Imagine a little spit and no originality. That was my ex. I always figured it would get better but it never did. The first time he kissed me I think I was in the mind-frame of WTF? I guess it did get a LITTLE better because I kinda liked him (well I did continue seeing him for a few months).
He wasn't good in bed either come to think of it. (See B, you aren't the only bitch...). Two pump chump comes to mind. Unless it was round two, and then it didn't end and then I'd think something was wrong with me, and he would sort of blame it on me, saying I didn't give him enough time inbetween rounds. That was when we even got to round two. Seriously, what right minded male only wants to pump twice and go to bed. Not that he was so big that it was mind-blowing, or that he compensated with amazing bed wrestling techniques. It was totally all about him when it came to actual sex. Oh, in the beginning there was some attention to detail, but toward the end, pump pump sleep. Oh and no more sleepovers.
It deteriorated rather quickly. It was sad. And don't you hate when guys make you feel like it was you. Of course slight revenge was had. Not purposely. And not intentionally. But he called a few months later to catch up and it was nice to actually see what was going on, but it was also nice to be able to admit that ending the relationship was the best thign for me, that it brought me back to J. D never wnated to meet my parents, even after 4 months. J is after 2.
I dont know why I am writing about all of this. But there are so massive differences between the two guys. J pays attention and my contentness is pretty important to him. He pays attention to every little detail (in and out of bed). When we bicker, he doesn't make me feel like the bad guy, we work everything out. (one of D's biggest downfalls, it was always my fault... I wasn't allowed to have feelings, shit, I even felt bad for liking him!!!). I don't doubt him (well I have my insecurities but that's my own past and issues, doesn't come from him). Not to mention, great kisser... although gotta break this ONE habit he has... oy. I guess you could say J is the opposite of D in every aspect, including personality. D blew dry his hair. Id scream homo from the living room. J, well hes as manly as they get. rough country boy. yum. D had more product on his bathroom sink than i even own.
OK im really just writing because I am bored and lonely right now. I really should get to work. Or something. ugh.
I've been having bad dreams lately. Im not gonna go into them. I just have. I don't feel rested. I haven't seen J in a few weeks and that may be bringing me down. But at the same time I am a lot stronger than I used to be and being on my own doesn't bother me the way it used to.
Anyway. I was listening to my favorite station this morning (talk radio, I don't particularly like it as far as music goes, but the morning show rocks), and they were talking about bad kissing. OH MAN. Yea. I was thinking about it. I think we have all had our fair share. It was funny, someone was talking about how she called a guy the lizard and this guy I kind of dated was kinda like that, but instead of in and out like a lizard it was more like the "no no no" finger.
Take your finger and swish it back and forth as if you were wiggling it "no" at a child. Now do it as fast as you can. Now multiply that by two. Imagine a little spit and no originality. That was my ex. I always figured it would get better but it never did. The first time he kissed me I think I was in the mind-frame of WTF? I guess it did get a LITTLE better because I kinda liked him (well I did continue seeing him for a few months).
He wasn't good in bed either come to think of it. (See B, you aren't the only bitch...). Two pump chump comes to mind. Unless it was round two, and then it didn't end and then I'd think something was wrong with me, and he would sort of blame it on me, saying I didn't give him enough time inbetween rounds. That was when we even got to round two. Seriously, what right minded male only wants to pump twice and go to bed. Not that he was so big that it was mind-blowing, or that he compensated with amazing bed wrestling techniques. It was totally all about him when it came to actual sex. Oh, in the beginning there was some attention to detail, but toward the end, pump pump sleep. Oh and no more sleepovers.
It deteriorated rather quickly. It was sad. And don't you hate when guys make you feel like it was you. Of course slight revenge was had. Not purposely. And not intentionally. But he called a few months later to catch up and it was nice to actually see what was going on, but it was also nice to be able to admit that ending the relationship was the best thign for me, that it brought me back to J. D never wnated to meet my parents, even after 4 months. J is after 2.
I dont know why I am writing about all of this. But there are so massive differences between the two guys. J pays attention and my contentness is pretty important to him. He pays attention to every little detail (in and out of bed). When we bicker, he doesn't make me feel like the bad guy, we work everything out. (one of D's biggest downfalls, it was always my fault... I wasn't allowed to have feelings, shit, I even felt bad for liking him!!!). I don't doubt him (well I have my insecurities but that's my own past and issues, doesn't come from him). Not to mention, great kisser... although gotta break this ONE habit he has... oy. I guess you could say J is the opposite of D in every aspect, including personality. D blew dry his hair. Id scream homo from the living room. J, well hes as manly as they get. rough country boy. yum. D had more product on his bathroom sink than i even own.
OK im really just writing because I am bored and lonely right now. I really should get to work. Or something. ugh.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Nothing Interesting To Report - Just a lot of Food
I guess I try not to journal TOO much. I use this as more of an outlet. At least so far. But right now I am at a COMPLETE loss of what to write. Nothing theoretical really. Maybe something will happen as I type because, really, right now, I don't have the focus to work. I do need to call a venue and make some updates to a doc, but I'll get to that shortly. I need a little brainular rinse.
Aunt and Uncle from out of town came to visit. They kinda rock. I mean they are funny and I guess the older I get the more human my adult family members become, but it's still a blast to hang out with them. Their family (including kids) are always the kind of people you sit around with and find yourself just cracking up.
We partied NON-STOP all weekend. My family gathered at this world renowned restaurant (I'd say where but that would be a huge clue-in to my whereabouts and ya know, that whole 007 thing I have going because I don't want personal and professional lives to cross... event "friends" at my job don't know about this. I hope...) SO yea, like 25 people met up at this awesome place (I brought "Biggie" to this place, so if you are readin this big, you know where I am talking about. You loved it. I know you know. Oh yea, thats the place. It was great. I only stayed for drinks since I promised a friend I would roll to her pad (im gangster, live with it) to celebrate the end of a very rough semester (I think I screwed myself into cat sitting today.. hmmmm). Had fun, but really, no more vodka. Ill help her kill off that bottle but I think Im more of a scotch/whiskey person. Some JD on the rocks, or if I can get my hands on better, well awesome, but Im poor, or maybe some JD and sprite. Yum.
Yea, I mean I've been bringing myself to the scotch world for a little bit now. My grandmother drinks scotch and now I know why everyone loves her. You don't get sloppy drunk (well we dont) off of Scotch... you get a great buzz but you don't get sick and I felt just fine the next day - tired from partying two days in a row at that point, but just fine. And I get happy drunk on scotch. Ill bicker with J when we are both drunk on the phone if I have had vodka. Doesnt take much to get me in an emotional state. Not tears or anything but my mood will swing quick. Scotch? Naw, doesn't happen. Not yet. Im just a goof off that shit. I even did the grapevine and as much of the thriller dance as I could remember at my Uncles 90th bday.
OH yea, get this, HUGE effing party, uncles 90th party, im knockin back the S&S's, everyone is having a blast, and MY DRUNK ASS passes out before my 90 year old uncle at 1.30a.m. YES my 90yr old Unc was up partying till almost 2 am.
THEN finally last night we went to ANOTHER aunts house for great food, good wine and well, by 9:30 we just couldnt do it anymore. J was sick and being cranky on the phone, I was exhausted, my parents were falling asleep and my aunt and uncle that were staying with us were like god please, bed? So we went home. Not after stuffing ourselves and having a religious philosophical rant. My one aunt, lets call her health nut (in a totally awesome way, I would love her control and devotion to working out and eating right, and im not a poor eater compared to 80% of america). anyway, she was telling me and FLUF (uncle who is in town... and yea, real nickname,it has meaning, won't go into it... again, no defining info ) about how she found it sad that kids were losing their religion (kids in the sense of my generation... Ill call us the spawn... parental units in my family are Literally called Spice and the children are called Spawn because there are too many adult cousins and "spawn" (myself included) to just say adults only or no kids or adults and kids. It doesn't work when half the "spawn" are over 23, 24, some in or near their 30s and only 3 under 21.) OY sorry. tanget. Well anyway Fluf is with me on this whole whatever re: religion. He's the only one who doesnt give me total shit about J being a different religion EVEN THOUGH I DON"T EVEN PRACTICE WHAT I WAS RAISED. its culture, not a g-d thing for me. So yea, we had this huge debate on that.
What does anyone out there in blog land thing about all that kind of shit anyway? Ill try and poll something.
Finally tonight I get to drop off my car to the dealer, pick up a truck (hehehe I hope!) and im getting the oil changed and my service done. in under 4 years i have 60,000 miles. Im insane.
And huge dinner tonight. I have to make this pumpkin ravioli stuff my mom and I kind of created. Home-made pumpkin pasta with a sweet pumpkin and parmesan filling, cayenne pepper for a kick and a lil brown sugar, nutmeg and white wine to cut the burn a tad. Then served in a Sage or Rosemary butter sauce. Everything is fresh prepared and homemade. Good stuff. And yea, all by hand. Pasta, filling, putting the Ravioli together. Im a regular cook man.
Hmm Maybe I can start posting some recipes. They are good and aren't toooooo hard. I get some from online and then generally just take them over to the next step. If anyone starts reading this it could be cool. I know a lot of friends who talk about wanting to actually cook but they don't and this isn't hard. You might need specific utensils for some of them, but if that's the case, you can just come over :)
Aunt and Uncle from out of town came to visit. They kinda rock. I mean they are funny and I guess the older I get the more human my adult family members become, but it's still a blast to hang out with them. Their family (including kids) are always the kind of people you sit around with and find yourself just cracking up.
We partied NON-STOP all weekend. My family gathered at this world renowned restaurant (I'd say where but that would be a huge clue-in to my whereabouts and ya know, that whole 007 thing I have going because I don't want personal and professional lives to cross... event "friends" at my job don't know about this. I hope...) SO yea, like 25 people met up at this awesome place (I brought "Biggie" to this place, so if you are readin this big, you know where I am talking about. You loved it. I know you know. Oh yea, thats the place. It was great. I only stayed for drinks since I promised a friend I would roll to her pad (im gangster, live with it) to celebrate the end of a very rough semester (I think I screwed myself into cat sitting today.. hmmmm). Had fun, but really, no more vodka. Ill help her kill off that bottle but I think Im more of a scotch/whiskey person. Some JD on the rocks, or if I can get my hands on better, well awesome, but Im poor, or maybe some JD and sprite. Yum.
Yea, I mean I've been bringing myself to the scotch world for a little bit now. My grandmother drinks scotch and now I know why everyone loves her. You don't get sloppy drunk (well we dont) off of Scotch... you get a great buzz but you don't get sick and I felt just fine the next day - tired from partying two days in a row at that point, but just fine. And I get happy drunk on scotch. Ill bicker with J when we are both drunk on the phone if I have had vodka. Doesnt take much to get me in an emotional state. Not tears or anything but my mood will swing quick. Scotch? Naw, doesn't happen. Not yet. Im just a goof off that shit. I even did the grapevine and as much of the thriller dance as I could remember at my Uncles 90th bday.
OH yea, get this, HUGE effing party, uncles 90th party, im knockin back the S&S's, everyone is having a blast, and MY DRUNK ASS passes out before my 90 year old uncle at 1.30a.m. YES my 90yr old Unc was up partying till almost 2 am.
THEN finally last night we went to ANOTHER aunts house for great food, good wine and well, by 9:30 we just couldnt do it anymore. J was sick and being cranky on the phone, I was exhausted, my parents were falling asleep and my aunt and uncle that were staying with us were like god please, bed? So we went home. Not after stuffing ourselves and having a religious philosophical rant. My one aunt, lets call her health nut (in a totally awesome way, I would love her control and devotion to working out and eating right, and im not a poor eater compared to 80% of america). anyway, she was telling me and FLUF (uncle who is in town... and yea, real nickname,it has meaning, won't go into it... again, no defining info ) about how she found it sad that kids were losing their religion (kids in the sense of my generation... Ill call us the spawn... parental units in my family are Literally called Spice and the children are called Spawn because there are too many adult cousins and "spawn" (myself included) to just say adults only or no kids or adults and kids. It doesn't work when half the "spawn" are over 23, 24, some in or near their 30s and only 3 under 21.) OY sorry. tanget. Well anyway Fluf is with me on this whole whatever re: religion. He's the only one who doesnt give me total shit about J being a different religion EVEN THOUGH I DON"T EVEN PRACTICE WHAT I WAS RAISED. its culture, not a g-d thing for me. So yea, we had this huge debate on that.
What does anyone out there in blog land thing about all that kind of shit anyway? Ill try and poll something.
Finally tonight I get to drop off my car to the dealer, pick up a truck (hehehe I hope!) and im getting the oil changed and my service done. in under 4 years i have 60,000 miles. Im insane.
And huge dinner tonight. I have to make this pumpkin ravioli stuff my mom and I kind of created. Home-made pumpkin pasta with a sweet pumpkin and parmesan filling, cayenne pepper for a kick and a lil brown sugar, nutmeg and white wine to cut the burn a tad. Then served in a Sage or Rosemary butter sauce. Everything is fresh prepared and homemade. Good stuff. And yea, all by hand. Pasta, filling, putting the Ravioli together. Im a regular cook man.
Hmm Maybe I can start posting some recipes. They are good and aren't toooooo hard. I get some from online and then generally just take them over to the next step. If anyone starts reading this it could be cool. I know a lot of friends who talk about wanting to actually cook but they don't and this isn't hard. You might need specific utensils for some of them, but if that's the case, you can just come over :)
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